How Rescue Dogs Make Us Kinder

Hiding in the bubble wrap in my office on Day Three

I was out walking on our farm this week, trying to get away from some things that were troubling me.  On the way back in, I spotted one of our barn cats curled up in an over-mulched flower bed.  He didn’t look quite right, and I headed over to investigate.  When I bent down to check him out, I realized this wasn’t my cat at all, but an old dog.  He was the same color as the straw, and I had almost missed him.

His eyes were clouded over, and when I spoke to him, I got no response.  When I touched him, he jumped.  I could tell he was wary, so I backed off.  I went in to get my husband to show him what I had “grown” in the flower bed.  By the time we returned, the dog was going into shock.  Temps were dropping, too, and I knew he wouldn’t survive the night if left outside.

That’s how he came to take up residence in our guest bathroom.  Three days later, he’s showing signs of improvement, and trying hard to learn to trust me.

I posted his photo on Facebook and Craigslist hoping I might find his owner or someone interested in adopting him.  I received lots of kind comments from friends about what a great thing I was doing.  While I appreciated the comments, it hit me immediately that it wasn’t about me being kind.  It was about this little, scared, emaciated dog making me kinder.

Scared to death the first night

When I had set out on my walk to clear my head and found the dog, I thought I had brought on new trouble.  And yes, cleaning up after a scared, non-socialized dog that isn’t fully housebroken is no picnic.  But it has made me focus on something besides my own issues.  In so doing, I’ve noticed that my whole disposition has become kinder, more thoughtful, and more compassionate.

If that’s the case, maybe I need to find a dog in the flower bed every day!

 I remember having this same kind of awakening when I brought in each of our other two rescue dogs.  In slowing down to reassure them, in being aware of timely feedings and routines, in just taking time instead of time taking me, I discovered a softer, more caring side of myself. All dogs are great teachers, but dogs that are rescued seem to have special powers!

I’d love to hear your thoughts about what I’ve written, or about your own experience with rescue dogs.  Please feel free to comment.  And thanks for reading!

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Waiting with Anticipation

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Remember when you were a kid and you couldn’t wait for Christmas to get here?  You probably drove your parents nuts asking when it would really be Christmas.  I bet you can remember that feeling of waiting with anticipation.

These days, as adults, it seems we mostly wait for things with reluctance.  We hope that someday things will get better, but we really don’t expect them to.  If our “someday” is not today, it’s easy to get discouraged, or even mopey.  Then we begin waiting with reluctance, and forget that life is lived in the moment.

The experience of waiting expectantly is very different than waiting without hope or purpose.  You can still live in the moment while waiting with anticipation, but not while waiting with reluctance.

If it feels like mere word play, it isn’t.  Your attitude shifts perceptibly when you’re anticipating positive change.  If you’re waiting with anticipation, the waiting can be almost as fun as what you’re waiting for.  The waiting is a pregnant moment, and it’s very real and right now.

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What if you made a conscious decision to wait expectantly for whatever it is you’re so passionate about.  If it’s in the forefront of your oh-so-positive mind, it makes more sense that you will take the steps needed to bring your dreams around.  The DOING also keeps you in the moment.

Waiting with anticipation is what keeps us alive, moving forward and vibrant.  What are you waiting expectantly for?  I’d love to hear about it.  Please feel free to leave a comment.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Project or Punishment

Photo by Marianne M. Smith

We always have lots of projects going on around the farm, and I’m starting to wonder if more discernment is in order.  While I love to take a project from concept to completion, sometimes it seems to make more sense to pick and choose your battles.

Recently I attended a farm and auto auction with my husband.  He was interested in a 1947 Fleetmaster, and even wondered if it might have been the one he sold many years ago.  His infatuation with this particular car puzzled me.  It also frightened me beyond belief when we saw the car in person!

I was greatly relieved when he told me he wasn’t bidding.  It wasn’t that I minded another project (I certainly keep him busy with mine, and fair is fair..), but it would be easier to build this car from air than it would be to restore it.

Photo by Marianne M. Smith

Sometimes, no matter how emotional you get, the best response is to walk away.

These cars got me thinking about how to define what is truly project-worthy.  And even though I just said the best response is sometimes to walk away no matter how emotional you get, emotions certainly factor in.

But I knew there were other, more easily restorable, 1947 Fleetmasters out there.  (At least, I think there are.)  It helped that Dwayne was able to verify that this was not his old vehicle.

I’ve made a list of things I think about when deciding if I want to take a project on:

*How important is this project in the big picture?  Is it something I can’t live without?  Will I tire of the energy required to complete the project, or will my unbridled enthusiasm carry me?

*Is there a simpler way to get the same result?  Sometimes projects take on a life of their own, and we start building something bigger, grander, or more costly than we originally planned.  (Our chicken coop comes to mind.  Stay tuned for a future blog piece on that little project.)

*Are there obvious signs that maybe the project is too much to tackle?  Are they signs from God? J

Photo by Marianne M. Smith

I suppose another way to get around the enormity of a project is to separate the tasks into stages and tackle them in small groups.  But that's only if I've already given the above questions a go and come up with reasonable responses.

What was your latest project?  Was it fun or punishment?  Would you do it again?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Get OUT(side)

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Maybe it was election week stress, but I found myself particularly amped up this week.  As luck (or synchronicity) would have it, I read a fascinating article in the December 2012 issue of Outside Magazine.  The article is titled “Take Two Hours of Pine Forest and Call Me in the Morning: The Nature Cure,” and it’s beautifully written by Florence Williams.

I’ll summarize it, just in case you don’t get to read it for yourself:

When you’re overwhelmed, especially by technology, go outside and absorb some nature.  It will change your mood and calm your thoughts, and five minutes is all you need to achieve this benefit.

Trees or water are the quickest mood changers.

Aimless walks (not driven by exercise quotas) are best.

Walking in the forest (or at least in a park) trumps walking in the city.  It lowers your blood pressure significantly more, and brings you better focus and memory.

Look and listen while you’re taking in nature.  We’re so driven by gadgets and multi-tasking that we rarely listen anymore.  (I tried this on a recent nature walk, and discovered so much more by focusing on what I was hearing.)  You might need to leave your earbuds at home.

If you absolutely can’t get outside, looking at photographs of nature will do in a pinch, and you will still achieve better focus and memory.

Photo by Marianne M. Smith

Also engage your sense of smell.  Studies have shown that evergreen oils have anti-cancer properties and can also reduce fatigue.  All you have to do is breathe them in.

The Japanese are researching how longevity is affected by nature and have coined the phrase “forest therapy” to explain why they are herding driven businessmen (sorry ya’ll, maybe it’s cultural, but they aren’t studying businesswomen) into the woods to measure changes in their blood pressure.

So what does all this mean in your daily life?  Here’s an interesting stat:
“Nature-based recreation has declined 35% in the U.S. in the past four decades.”—National Academy of Sciences

Williams suggests building outside time into your daily schedule.  Go for short walks at work, even if you just walk five minutes around the outside of your building.  Eat outside when possible.  Schedule meetings or trainings outside.  If you work from home, get up and get outside for five minutes several times a day.  Spend an entire day outside occasionally.  Gardening is great, a weekend spent at a cabin in the woods is even better.  Short bursts more often seem to yield greater benefits than, say, a two-week trek in the mountains.

Photo by Marianne M. Smith

The benefits of spending time outside are amazing:  strengthened immune system, improved cognitive function, and even enhanced creativity.  We’ve always known that we feel better after some “fresh air” or time spent in nature, but now the benefits have been proven and are critical to our good health.

In our fast-paced gadget-driven mania, we are putting our outdoor time on the backburner.  It seems that we need to get it back.  Go on now, get outside! :)

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please feel free to leave a comment.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Keep on Dreamin’

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Last night my husband and I were watching the Country Music Awards on television.  The Eli Young Band performed “Even If It Breaks Your Heart’” (keep on dreamin') and something clicked for me.

Big dreams usually involve big sacrifices and tons of hard work.  Along the way, it’s easy to get beaten down and decide it’s just not happening.  In fact, most days these thoughts loom, and we push them back down.  Sometimes they do more than loom:  They scream, they yell, they threaten to take our dreams away.

Many things can make us rethink our dreams.  Is it fair to our family, especially in this dismal economy? Is it a pipe dream, anyway, not likely to happen in the best of circumstances (and these days are not the best, now, are they?)?


If we didn’t get it right the first five times, it is really sensible to begin again and think things will be different?  Do we even have the connections, skill, and talent we need to succeed?

And the enthusiasm required for facing each new day with gusto, holding our dream firmly in mind?  Sometimes that takes way more than two cups of coffee and some positive affirmations.

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So why don’t we just settle down and do something sensible?

I’m not sure there is a rational answer to that, but there is an emotional answer.  Dreams keep us hopeful and moving towards our perception of being our best self.   They answer the question:  If I could truly be myself, what would that look like?

And if we get right down to it, chasing our dreams is essentially our journey here on this planet.  So if we let them go, we’re kind of cashing in some of our humanity.

If you’re a Baby Boomer like me, it’s easy to say that the dream-chasing years are gone, and we need to focus on stability and retirement.  But we know, deep down, how easily those resources can be wiped out.  And then we’re left with what?

Can you define your big dream(s)?  It’s something worth thinking hard about.  After all, it points you in the direction of being your best self.  And no one else can define what that looks like but you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please feel free to comment.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Making Your Mark On The World Is Easier Than You Think

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My good friend Kim is right smack in the middle of building her dream farm.  She and her husband shopped for exactly the kind of land they wanted, and began the building process from scratch.  There was nothing there when they started—not even a driveway.  Every detail has been thoroughly and thoughtfully considered.

Kim hired a general contractor, and while progress has been made, the process has been pretty frustrating for her.  There have been multiple communication snafus with the contractor coupled with weather delays, and her dream farm project is now in its third year.  She and her husband and several large dogs are living in a small barn apartment that they built on the property.  Recently I asked her if she would do it again—if all the stress was worth it.

“You know, everyone asks me that,” she answered.  But she went on to explain that she had always wanted to make her mark on the world, however small.  By carefully planning and building a farm, she felt like she could do that.

I have no doubt that when her farm is completed it will be a stunning work of art.  She and her husband have both poured their heart and soul into this project with their purpose firmly in mind.  I hope they will enjoy their farm for many, many years.  And later on, someone else will also get to enjoy it.

All this got me thinking about what it means to make your own mark on the world. (Thank you, Kim!)

One of the things that kept popping up was the idea of expressing your unique self.  We may not all be incredible songwriters, musicians, artists or dancers (though I am honored to have some of each as blog readers!), but there are many ways to put your own special stamp on the life you are crafting.

Like Kim, we can strive to make our own corner of the world a more beautiful and productive place.  Even if we’re only helping one other individual, there is a ripple effect in the world.  And deeply helping one other person (parenting and elder care come to mind) can profoundly change that person’s world view, and how they relate to others.

I realize this is a very simple concept, and certainly not a new idea, but the more I think about it the more life-changing it becomes.  In our over-achiever society, many times we think we don’t measure up.  Our perception is, sometimes, that we haven’t done anything monumental and that we don’t matter.

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But this is so far from the truth! Our actions—especially the smallest ones—shape the world we live in.  How are you making your mark on the world?  I’d love to hear your comments.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Letting Go and Beginning Again

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The continuing recession we are experiencing has wiped out several of my business ventures like a hog on ice.  It’s making me an expert at letting things go and beginning again.

Well, maybe expert is too positive a word.  But every time the rug is pulled out from underneath me, I have a choice:  I can crash, or I can walk on the new floor.

While I like the comfort of the rug, I have to say that some of the new surfaces have proven to be interesting.  And sometimes the new paths lead to something better.  Not always, but sometimes.

What I have discovered is that I have had to loosen the reins, do the best I can, and see where my horse ends up.  It is also helpful to me to trust that I am going where I need to be.

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That’s not to say that I don’t still have big plans and dreams, or the drive and ambition to go after them.  I’m just learning to be more flexible about what I used to consider a failure.  If something doesn’t work, I regroup and try something else.

Frustration does set in (oh yeah, it does!), but I find it only breeds more frustration if I don’t pick myself up and move on.  Shifting gears has almost become an art form, if only out of necessity.

Are you experiencing this in your own life?  I’d love to hear about your coping mechanisms.  Please feel free to leave a comment.  And if you’re finding my blog pieces worthwhile, will you please consider becoming a subscriber or sharing my post on your favorite social media site? And thank you for reading!

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com