While it has been years in the making, I recently retired early. I retired from years of customer service. I retired my TN massage license. I retired from my psychotherapy practice in Colorado. I retired my real estate license in TN. I guess you could say I have “re” tired. I am focusing on farming, but I am not defined anymore by the outcome.
I always thought that as a “Type A” driven personality I would come to know my true nature in my work. But that has not actually been the case.
My true nature is emerging in quiet times. We recently added a four-season room to our home. It became one of the most stressful experiences of my life, due to total lack of control over the project. But now that it is *mostly finished,* I find myself flourishing in the quiet space. I never realized that I had not taken a breath or “set a spell” over these many years of being driven to get things done. Yes, in case you don’t know me well, there is a lot of unresolved grief coming from loss in my immediate family. Yes, I know I have been attempting to fill this void by getting stuff DONE. And while I still have a long “to do” list, I have suddenly realized the importance of being quiet AND still.
I have (along with my husband) been rescuing animal for years. But there are no animals in my new quiet space. I realized I just needed at least thirty minutes every day without attending constantly to the needs of others. It has amazed me how restorative this is. In the past, I could never have imagined a space where my animals were not constantly present. Now when I return to them, I am ready to be fully available and untroubled.
I am 62 years old, and just now beginning to find my center. I realize I live a very fortunate life, and that many are simply not able to “take a moment.” But if you can find your way to quiet and stillness, whatever that looks like for you, the insights you gain will overwhelm you. I promise. Cheering you on, Marianne
