Conscious Complaining for Positive Living



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Think of this as Part Two of last week’s blog post on eliminating annoyances and having a better 2012. If you missed Part One, you can read it here.

Recently, I read a phenomenal book on achieving emotional balance:  The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying To Tell You by Karla McLaren.

McLaren maintains that you can’t be positive without honoring the negative, which is an intriguing concept.





In fact, her feeling is that “a lack of permission to complain can cause unresolving, repetitive mood states like worry, depression, and apathy.”  She says that ignoring the negative can drain our energy, if we’re not careful.

I’ve been immersing myself in positivism lately, but there are days when that seems trite and shallow because I really don’t feel that way.  And now I have “permission” to complain?  Gotta love that!

McLaren suggests trying out a technique she calls Conscious Complaining.  Find a very private place where no one can hear you and close the door.  She explains how it works:  “When you’ve found your perfect complaining site, let yourself go, and give a voice to your dejected, hopeless, sarcastic, nasty, bratty self.  Bring dark humor out of the shadows and really whine and swear about the frustrations, stupidities, impossibilities, and absurdities of your situation.  Complain for as long as you like…and when you run out of things to say, thank whatever you’ve been whining or yelling at.”

After focusing for so long on being positive, I found the idea of Conscious Complaining to be a little confusing at first.  But after giving it a go and ranting for awhile, I reached a state of contented peace, and then began to feel quite positive again.

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When I initially tried this technique I have to admit that I felt quite foolish, but elation soon followed.  Can’t tell you how marvelous it felt to get everything off my chest without the risk of hurting anyone!

I highly recommend that you give this technique your best shot, if it appeals to you.  But be sure you are totally alone.  (Nothing like ranting about your spouse or roommate while they are standing right outside the door listening in...)  If that kind of privacy is hard to come by, you could try journaling your complaints and then tearing up the list.  But I find that voicing them is much more freeing.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fond of whiners.  And generally I consider myself to be an insanely positive person.  But by Consciously Complaining you can let go of unconscious complaining, which is the big offender.

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If you can let go of your complaints by consciously naming them and ranting about them, you are clearing the path for a more positive life experience.

I’d love to hear about your experience after you try this technique, be it good, bad, or ugly.  Go ahead; find some privacy, close the door, and rant!

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com