My Life as a Man in Ho Chi Minh City

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Last week I joined a seniors only dating service.  I also bought two website domains for my new pornography sites.  I even created my own credit card fraud investigation service so I could acquire additional information to complete my identity.  I then set up five more online charges that should go through at any minute.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your point of view, the real Marianne finally checked her online banking records and called her bank.  I was so good at my job that at first her bank could not confirm or deny whether my credit card fraud investigation service was reputable.

Boy howdy, did I have a few moments of high anxiety last night when I realized some jerk was running amuck online with my credit/debit card information!  And of course it was after hours, making it that much more difficult to sort through these wacky charges and kill the credit/debit card.

This morning, my Friday began entirely too early with me sitting in a chair across from a bank officer, trying to assess the damage.  I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself.  The damages were not as bad as I first feared, and my bank officer was super helpful, concerned, and cooperative.  Aside from jangled nerves and the inconvenience of having to reset all my online credit information (and be at the bank before coffee), the worst damage appears to be having to wait almost two weeks for a new credit/debit card.  (Normally in this circumstance a new card is issued the same day the problem is reported, but my bank just went through a merger, so things are a bit more complicated.)  I almost never carry cash, so this is problematic.



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Oh, and then there was the most damaging moment of all:  At the end of our meeting the young and handsome bank officer advised I was eligible for some nice upgrades to my checking account, “…Because you are over 50, right?”  My driver’s license was right there on the desk, so denial was not an option.  Of course, since I’m not stupid, I took the upgrades.  But I have to say that my ego was a bit dinged.  I assured him that I look younger after coffee, a little later in the day.  He smiled like he would at his grandmother.

I wonder if the man in Ho Chi Minh City knew he had taken the identity of a woman who was currently eligible for LOLCA (Little Old Lady Checking Account)? J  I hope the rest of my weekend is drama-free.  And if you see me out and about, will you please pay my way? Because I’ve already spent the cash they gave me this morning…

Comments?  Commiserations?  I’d love to hear them.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com