Frozen in Time

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Last night I learned (on Facebook, of course) that my high school is closing in May.  First there was shock, and then sadness.  Logically, it has been 37 years since I graduated, and things change.  I know that.  But in my heart my high school was just as I left it 37 years ago.

I’ve experienced this same phenomenon with old friends.  I expect them to be just the same as they were the last time I saw them, even if that was 37 years ago!  Of course, we have both experienced lots of things since then, and neither one of us is the same (nor would we want to be).  But in my mind somehow my friends are frozen in time, right where we last left off.  I’ve never run across a psychological term for this, though there may be one.  “Mind warp” might be an apt way to describe it.

Spinning these ideas around in my head, I know we have to embrace change.  But what, exactly, do we do with nostalgia?  (I’ve written about nostalgia before, and if you missed it, read about it here later.)

Perhaps since I’ve moved across the state and don’t get to visit my home in Memphis often, this mind warping is a natural tendency—an attempt to hold on to fond memories.  Sometimes I wonder if it is a function of getting older, as I don’t remember having these feelings when I was younger.  But I really don’t want to be that aunt who squeezes both your cheeks and squeals about how much you’ve grown when you’re already thirty-five!

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It feels arrogant to assume that people and places only change when you’re with them, you know?  But this feeling persists, in spite of all my logic and reasoning.

Is this something you can relate to?  Have you found a helpful way to deal with it?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Ten Cures for Mid-Winter Depression

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I’m usually upbeat, but two weeks of solid rain, nasty wind, and no sunshine has left me with a bad case of the mid-winter blues.  Thought I’d share my list of depression cures with you, in case you’re suffering from the same fate:

1.  Dance!  I don’t care if you move like Elaine from Seinfeld; just turn on some music and dance  around your den for twenty minutes.  You may feel like an idiot, but you will become a joyful idiot!  I guarantee it.

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2.  Light fires.  I’m not talking about burning down the neighborhood, just a good old-fashioned wood fire in the fireplace, or even a bonfire, if the circumstances are right.  Fire brings primal warmth on multiple levels.  

3.  Time travel.  While a good “Back to the Future” movie or Twilight Zone episode couldn’t hurt, what I’m thinking about here is any activity that makes you forget time temporarily.  You could read a great book, cook a new and exciting meal, or take up drawing or painting.  (These are all things that get put on the back burner at our house once good weather hits.)  

4.  Take up the harmonica, or another instrument that makes you happy.  This is also good for using that OTHER side of your brain, which makes you smarter.  So now you’re happier AND smarter.  How are we doing?

5.  Eat chocolate.  Studies back me up here, too, and you’ll just have to trust me. 

6.  Switch your light bulbs to natural spectrum light.  Immediate mood booster!  

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7.  If you able, plan a trip to a warmer—think tropical—climate.  If not, consider throwing a tropical themed party.  If you’re also suffering from economic depression and can’t throw a party, try drinking box wine while wearing summer clothes and looking at tropical images online.  

8.   Plan your spring garden on paper.  Or draw plans for your ideal future swimming pool.  Shop catalogs or online for that chaise lounge or hammock that you’ve always intended to buy.  And again, if you have no money, visualize things getting better in the near future and picture yourself lounging in warm sunshine.

9.  Seek out companionship.  And if that includes lewd thoughts, they might make you warmer!  


10.  Remember that spring always follows winter, or at least it has so far.  And depression usually lasts three days before shifting somewhat.  So know that this mid-winter depression is temporary, and not unrelenting.

Do you have novel ways of beating mid-winter depression?  Please feel free to share a comment.  And if you're enjoying what I've written, please consider subscribing.  It's free and easy and my posts can go right into your email inbox.  Thanks for reading!



Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com

Farkeling and World Peace

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Have you ever farkeled?  Sure you have!

Over Christmas my youngest stepson and his girlfriend taught us how to farkel.  In case you think I’ve lost my mind, please allow me to explain.  Farkeling is a dice game that focuses on high stakes gambling to achieve your goal of scoring 10,000 points.  When you don’t roll the desired ones or fives that allow you to keep rolling and acquiring points, you farkel.  Farkeling is bad.  Very bad.  When you farkel you have nothing.  And you also lose what you previously felt you had.

This new-found knowledge made me start thinking about goals, achievements, and contentment.  How do we decide when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em, anyway?  And should we bloom where we are planted, or move on?

Should we keep pursuing a dream that just doesn’t seem to be materializing, or should we pack it in?

What happens if we roll the dice on our dreams and plans, and we farkel anyway?  Do we try again, or do we devise different plans?

For me, the battle is about contentment.  If I’m content, I don’t feel the need to roll the dice.  But I’m rarely content.  I’m at the point in my life where I want to try everything, because I’m getting older and the days for a do-over are narrowing.

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Still, putting everything on the line for your own achievement or gain sometimes flies in the face of the greater good.  If you’re so busy trying not to farkel, you can miss your chance to contribute to world peace, or something like that…

While playing farkel with my family, I was ridiculed for my “slow and steady wins the race” philosophy.  These days the gains come slowly, and I felt extremely protective of whatever I had firmly acquired.  But I didn’t win a single game with this attitude.  In fact, I became the Queen of Farkeling.

What kind of risks are you willing to take this year to reach your goals?  Are there lines you won’t cross?  Resources you’re not willing to tap into?  And if it all goes to farkel, what’s next?  Interesting questions to ponder, and Happy New Year!

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts about what I’ve written, and how it applies to your own life.  Please feel free to leave a comment.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time

http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com