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Last night I learned (on Facebook, of course) that my high school is closing in May. First there was shock, and then sadness. Logically, it has been 37 years since I graduated, and things change. I know that. But in my heart my high school was just as I left it 37 years ago.
I’ve experienced this same phenomenon with old friends. I expect them to be just the same as they
were the last time I saw them, even if that was 37 years ago! Of course, we have both experienced lots of
things since then, and neither one of us is the same (nor would we want to be). But in my mind somehow my friends are frozen
in time, right where we last left off. I’ve
never run across a psychological term for this, though there may be one. “Mind warp” might be an apt way to describe
it.
Spinning these ideas around in my head, I know we have to
embrace change. But what, exactly, do we
do with nostalgia? (I’ve written about
nostalgia before, and if you missed it, read about it here later.)
Perhaps since I’ve moved across the state and don’t get to
visit my home in Memphis often, this mind warping is a natural tendency—an attempt
to hold on to fond memories. Sometimes I
wonder if it is a function of getting older, as I don’t remember having these
feelings when I was younger. But I
really don’t want to be that aunt who squeezes both your cheeks and squeals
about how much you’ve grown when you’re already thirty-five!
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It feels arrogant to assume that people and places
only change when you’re with them, you know?
But this feeling persists, in spite of all my logic and reasoning.
Is this something you
can relate to? Have you found a helpful
way to deal with it? I’d love to hear
your thoughts.
Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
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