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What could be easier?
What could be lighter?
What could be softer?
How does it feel?
These questions are part of the teaching philosophy of Trager, a bodywork method that is ridiculously simple yet brings about profound results. I had the privilege of taking a Trager training many years back, and found myself reconsidering Trager concepts just this week.
Struggle begets more struggle. I’ll give you a light, practical example. I’ve been trying to learn to play an F chord on guitar since I was 12. Mind you, I frequently get frustrated and quit guitar practice altogether. Recently, I traded a donkey for a nice Martin guitar (if you missed that story, click here); it’s inspired me to practice again. Last week I ran across a YouTube video of a young boy demonstrating a “cheater” F chord. While practicing this week, I sat my guitar down and went back to my computer to find that video. For some reason, I couldn’t locate the video feed. So I thought to myself, “Hey! How hard can this be?” I found another video on the non-cheater F chord and got the hang of it in just a few minutes. I’m now convinced that the difference was my mind-set: I was looking for easy.
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That’s not to say that hard issues are made airy-fairy simply by applying these “easier, lighter, softer” concepts. But when things are difficult for us, we generally close down and shut down. Or we try harder and harder until we feel like we might just implode. As a culture, we’ve been taught to “try again” and “never give up.” But sometimes that can be counterproductive. Our struggling only makes us more “stuck” and less resilient.
When we are facing difficulties, we create more struggle and more drama. In our current economy, the answer is not always to power through. Many of us who have been laid off have created new freelance careers, or taken some time to chase a dream that we couldn’t justify earlier.
And if we kept running down the same rabbit hole (looking for non-existent jobs, perhaps?), we might never relax into something new and lucrative. If you’ve got your back against the wall, I do understand your skepticism. But if what you’re doing (repeating the struggle) isn’t working, I’d challenge you to try something easier, lighter, and softer. What do you have to lose except the experience of pushing the rock up the hill, only to watch it fall down again?
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Next time you want to beat your head against the wall, just ask yourself: What do I want instead of this? What could be easier, lighter, or softer? You might be surprised by the answers.
Have you ever relaxed into success? I’d love to hear about it. Feel free to leave a comment here or shoot me an email.
Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com
I find this very interesting and insightful. I can do this, yes I can.
ReplyDeleteYes you can, Stingray! :) And thanks for the kind comments. If you find yourself trying too hard, just think about what would feel easier! It works! I just need to remember to think this way more often :)
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