If you’re thinking of some superstar in an oops moment, just relax. I’m talking about my whole closet. Luckily, due to my stay-at-home writer and rancher status, I am able to be pretty dang casual about my wardrobe. Some say I have lost all the fashion sense I once had (which was never a lot).
My elderly neighbor was asking about my “ass” shirts the other day. I explained that donkey farmers have a wry sense of humor (you try raising asses without it) and it’s just the way we roll. He just smiled.
My husband is an IT guy and gets lots of freebie tech shirts with pithy slogans that the tech people, in their own sweet way, find hysterical. As a couple, our entire casual wardrobes consist of ass and tech T-shirts. The few exceptions for me are some of my (long dead) mother’s T-shirts. They are so worn and frayed that I could probably sell them to Keith Urban, who has his T’s acid-washed to achieve the same effect. Aside from sentimental reasons, I attribute still wearing these to my practical side. As McCrae says about Deets in Lonesome Dove: “He ain’t one to quit on a garment, just ‘cause it’s got a little age.”
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I suppose working on the farm doesn’t help our clothes any. Most of our shirts (and to be truthful, some of our pants) are riddled with barb wire holes, indecipherable stains, and teeth marks from equine who didn’t think it was time for us to go into the house just yet. Perhaps our threads are simply a badge of farm honor? Guess I can’t use that excuse for my usual lack of appropriate undergarments…
And how do I explain the bath robe with chemical stains on it from wearing it to the hot tub? Or the mismatched socks with permanent mud stains? Do normal people dress like this?
I still work out, get regular hair cuts and go to the dentist. It’s not like I’ve let myself go completely—just my clothes. Since I almost never go anywhere, my wardrobe deficit doesn’t affect many. (Well, there is that elderly neighbor…) My hub in his IT shirts is usually not one to be critical, though he did mention the other day that one of my mother’s T-shirts had more holes than fabric.
Some say that clothes make the man. If that’s the case, I am distinctly doomed. A good day for me is when my two large pups haven’t slimed me before noon. Wonder what the aliens would say if they tried to decipher current culture here by my wardrobe? (Something about high tech ass comes to mind.)
If you’re thinking of nominating me for a wardrobe makeover, don’t bother. I seem happy and comfortable in these old and injured threads. But if you have an extra ass or IT shirt, feel free to send it my way. Every once in awhile the cycle has to begin again.
Are you a style icon? I would love to hear how you manage it. Please feel free to leave a stylish comment.
Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com
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