Call Me Wrong Way

How come I never see this sign?

My sense of direction is so bad that when I first started driving, way before cell phones, my Mom always made sure I had a roll of quarters in my car so I could phone home when I got lost.  I miss my Mom!

Many years ago while having dinner with several friends in a revolving restaurant, I left the table to visit the restroom.  When I came out, I couldn’t find my dinner companions.  After several revolutions around the restaurant (while my dinner got cold), a sweet waiter finally came to my aid.

I once lost my car in a parking garage in Vail.  After walking the garage for hours in freezing temps, I had to phone a friend to come pick me up.  I missed an important appointment, was on the verge of frostbite, and was frustrated beyond belief.

One afternoon our credit card company called my husband to express concern that someone was driving around a two state area in circles and filling up, using our gas card.  My husband knew immediately that it was only me.

You’d think with a 50/50 chance to get the direction right, I’d come out on the right side of things every once in awhile.  But for some reason, that’s just not true.  Sometimes I even try going the opposite way of the direction I think I should be going, and even that strategy doesn’t always bring good results.

To me, the GPS is the greatest invention EVER!  But a few times it has led me majorly astray, so I still get nervous.  And sometimes it shorts out, which sends me into a meltdown.  Before I got a GPS, Mapquest.com was my salvation, but I printed so many routes that I never had any printer ink!  Nevermind what happened if I got off the route...

My husband, who almost never gets lost, finds it mind-boggling that I can drive somewhere and then I need the GPS to get back home.  I know, I know—I can hear the blonde jokes rising.

Now this sign has my name all over it!

My mother and my father both had an excellent sense of direction.  Does it skip a generation?  I really find the whole poster girl for LOST thing quite inconvenient.

I’m hoping that when my time comes the Lord will beam me directly up, ‘cuz if I have to find the pearly gates on my own I’ll be in a world of hurt.

How’s your sense of direction?  Do you think there’s any cure for me?  I’d love to hear your comments.

Marianne M. Smith
Writer At The Ranch
Making You Look Brilliant One Word At A Time
http://writerattheranch.com
wordsmith@writerattheranch.com